I can’t even remember what the five stages of grief are, but I know I’m dealing with them. Ok, I’m a liar. I looked them up: DENIAL, ANGER, BARGAINING, DEPRESSION, ACCEPTANCE. I can pinpoint at least 5 times a day that I feel each and every one of them.
I sat last night while the ghosts in my head were taunting me. . .And all I can think is “This has got to be a dream. . .There’s no way this is happening.” Denial, baby.
Then anger? Well, let’s see…Calling Trent every name under the sun and telling him I hated him right now. Which makes no sense because all he did?? Was agree with every single one of my points. He was the one that came to his senses and realized I was actually right this time. And he felt terrible. . .because he knew I needed more. And I sat there on the phone AND in person with him and told him off pretty much. I was the one who put my foot down in the first place! This is a prime example that women really are nuts. . .
Bargaining. . .I’m not sure a lot of that is happening. Maybe in my head I wish that I could run back to Trent and back him to give us another chance. I want another chance, etc. But. . .again. It goes back to how I wanted to break free in the first place…and that until my break down a week and a half ago he was the one begging me not to end it. He’s being the strong one in all of this, I’ll be honest. So if I do that…the tables are turned and I look like the fool. Ha.
Depression! Did I mention how much wine I have consumed?? I never have gotten DRUNK folks. But I’ve had a few, k?
Acceptance: The smallest of all of these so far. There are a few moments in which I feel happy about the decision he and I made. Sometimes. . .not so much. . .I’ll get there. . .
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This past weekend, by the way, I spent time with close friends at a pirate party. Just to show you how crazy things got, a bad pic of me. 
You can’t tell, but I got kind of burnt that day! Ha! This is myself and Anna (if you didn’t notice. . .my hair apparently looks RED in the sun! ugh!). It was a great day when I could get away and have FUN.
