Leaving on a jet plane! from Melissa M. on Vimeo.

Off to DC for the week. Just wanted to say bye. I don’t look nervous at ALL do I??

Ok, for some reason, my Wordpress Blog  Stats are NOT working. For the last 3 days I’ve had no visitors. Liar!!! I have had comments!! Lol….

Not important.

So much sad stuff is around me right now. Well, at least online.

Melissa is going through a personal struggle…that I’m obviously not going into details about because it is not my place. But she is strong. And I know she will get through this one.

Liz is struggling….her husband lost his job not long after Christmas and is having no success finding a new job. I am so tired of hearing this story over and over again. I mean, EVERYONE is somehow connected to someone close (or they are themselves affected) who has lost their job or is in a position of constant stress and uncertainty at work. I’m so afraid that this economy is never going to get better…And while I wanted to believe in change for this country…I’m so afraid that President Obama is sinking us….lower. I know things have to get worse before they get better, but this is ridiculously sad…..Every day, during the evening news, there is a new annnouncement of another local company laying off hundreds of employess. Over 1000 in one county within a week.

Amy’s oldest boy is struggling…he has a diagnoses of PDD, SPD/SID (Sensory Processing Disorder/Sensory Integration disorder. This one doesn’t touch me the most out of all three things…but it does touch a different portion of me than has ever been affected before — Because as an OT this is exactly the type of children I desire to most work with. And I want so badly to HELP. But yeah…don’t have the expertise yet.

Maria is struggling with an issue all her own (again, not my place to say what). And I wish I could give her the best advice ever….Life is about making decisions…choosing your own ending. The only problem is that we’re not psychic and can’t see what the real outcome will be if we choose one road or the other….

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I don’t know any of them in real life…but I have been reading their blogs for as long as I can remember. Probably Melissa’s the longest! And each situation kind of makes my heart break.

I wish there was something I could do for everyone….

When did I become so….concerned about people beyond myself?? Lol….Seriously! When did I grow up and feel a deep conviction to feel for people and their feelings?

I’m actually happy about this — because for so long I struggled with empathy. I want you to understand something — I am not feeling sympathy for these three strong women. I’ve somehow figured empathy out.  I’m a dork to be excited over this, but I really am.

And if you ladies land here (I know Melissa will at some point!)….Know that there are people out there who are rooting for you even if they can’t do anything specific to help. And thank you. Thank you for helping me grow the heck up and realize how important it is to one’s life  to care about people.

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Some days, I don’t really feel like God exists (such as when I see the economy falling apart….)…But some days, I do…..And today is one of those days. I’m praying for you…and all the others I didn’t mention, but I know are going through things of their own….

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PS: I’m sorry I haven’t posted about my own issues lately. But I wanted to give someof you an update on my father’s visit to the ICU this past weekend. Remember the surgery he had on Thanksgiving due to diverticulitis? Well, he had the surgery reverse on Friday, so he would no longer have to wear a colostomy bag (just. ew.). Well, something strange happened and they aren’t sure what, but his blood pressure dropped to a very low dangerous level…they suspected internal bleeding from the surgery and he ended up having 2 blood transfusions on Saturday. Which I have never seen before and it was kind of icky to watch. Lol….Just a bag of blood chilling out. Lol…

Anyway, he is doing well. Within 24 hours, he had gotten his color back and his blood pressure was normal. AND…he got to go home today!   So, thanks everyone for your kind words this past weekend.

I’m exhausted now. Didn’t sleep well last night. After the anxiety I experienced for my midterm onWednesday, it really affected the rest of my anxiety issues over the last 24 hours. But I am feeling better. Thanks to pills, which I hate taking but they help sometimes. I also went out and had dinner with my maid of honor and enjoyed a nice big vodka tonic. Just enough for a slight buzz…Came home, spent time with Dan…and yada yada yada, I can’t wait to get to bed.

xo.

Received this email this morning from one of my professors this semester:

“I  wanted to tell you that I submitted your name to Shannon  for a GA position for Fall (dont know if you’re interested but you are a candidate now if you are interested). It involves 10 hours/per week and does help with tuition costs…

Hope that was OK..She wanted someone who had all these strong qualities (smart, turn on a dime..etc). If you’re not interested, thats fine..but thought I would let you know.”

I do not suck up or brown-nose, mind you. I just like to get in there and get to know my professors.  Which I personally think is smart. You get in good with them, and you’ll have a fantastic reference for future employment opportunities, yes? I think so.

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I’m spending my day doing the following: working out, finishing a knitting project (@#$(*@&#$* it’s taking forever), finishing with my packing (WOOT WOOT WOOT), and THEN, I have to stop worrying so much about the economy. Yeah. I need to. Now that I’m not working presently (well, I’m attempting to find a job, so no worries), I get all worried about Dan’s job security. I have no reason to believe that his job is in jeopardy…Because it’s not. But I still worry.  It doesn’t help that one of MSNBC’s headlines right now is a sudden drop of 650,000 jobs in the last week. Reaching an all time high of 5 million current unemployment claims.

Must stop thinking.

Must finish this project.

Must workout.

Must put on skinny jeans to stretch them out a tad bit becaue I must wear them. (Ok, they are probably vanity sized a bit…but my favorite jeans are Gap Essentials. They have a nice wide leg and a decent mid-rise (not too high) because I can’t wear LOW waists anymore!….Anyway…the one’s I am currently wearing are size 6. The skinny ones? Are size 4’s.  At Old Navy, I’m back down to 8s and trying to creep into my 6’s again.). Just as a side note, I am not losing weight. But I AM toning up and my clothes are definitely fitting much better. I’m VERY happy. And much more confident. So that’s something to make my day!

I will post probably one more time before I leave tomorrow for Washington DC. YAY! SO EXCITED!

Seriously. It’s dragging. I’ve got en evil sinus infection that is attacking me (and I’m trying hard as I might to make it all better, but I’m betting MYSELF that I’ll be at the doctor’s office tomorrow BEGGING for an antibiotic). I took this new Sudafed that has a much stronger decongestant/expectorant, and what-not. And it kind of made me feel funny earlier today. A teeny bit nauseated.  I’m fine now.  I went right home from being out and about (looking for and buying a new suticase, because mine was destroyed last time I traveled and Dan didn’t have one big enough…we both have carry-ons and then I have this MASSIVELY huge one that would really only be good for a two week trip or something).

I came home, ate lunch, drank a little ginger ale and I feel better now. Don’t know what that was about, really. Still plan on heading to the gym for a cardio workout, then maybe to the tanner…not really for tanning…I’m just going to get my sun. I’m feeling so depressed and blah due to the winter that will not freaking go away.  I’m also hoping to lose the 5 million pounds I have left that I had wanted to lose for this trip in the first place. Ha ha…..There’s no way in heck I could possibly do that! Even if I wanted to. Yes, I’m still hanging out at 145lbs, but I am toning up. I looked in the mirror today and was all “well, hello butt! you’ve lifted!! you’re not longer depressed!?” I am happy overall.

I also am about to throw myself into studying for another midterm that I have tomorrow. I wish I were taking it much more seriously. But I don’t usually take these seriously until the last minute. I am trying to put together an outline for this presentation I have to give by myself to one lone professor. At 10am. It’s a bit nerve wrecking, actually!

I’m going to stop babbling now. I need to seriously hit the gym right now. Like. Now. If I don’t go now, I probably will find a way to not go later. Lol…

Sorry to be babbling about nothing in particular….

PS: COURTNEY! OMG! ONLY THREE DAYS LEFT!

I put on pretty blue crystals on the bottom of the shoes I’m wearing for the wedding. Our monogram. I found this inspiration online somewhere…can’t remember where though…Hmmm…