The weather has been super sucky these days. Nice and wintery cold out.  I've been unmotivated and just feeling blah. My days are all thrown off.  I only had one day that threw me off…yesterday….but one day ruins the rest of the week. School was canceled yesterday because of the snow storm and I would not doubt that it gets canceled tomorrow, too, leaving me with no open lab to attend. Damn it.

I was so frustrated at the world, I went and spent $15 I don't have for unpractical things and got a manicure. The woman did an OK job. Not as good as I had hoped, but good enough. My nails, which I've been growing out this past month or so….are now shaped very nicely. I had a french manicure done and it's not bad for her doing it by hand! My favorite part of the whole thing is when I get my hands massaged with the oils and lotions. Yummy.   

I forgot to mention this the other day….When I got to Michelle's house (Michelle being my soon to be new sister in law), her sister, Melissa, greeted me at the door. And something clicked in my mind. Her sister had been a year ahead of me in school. And it was a girl I totally hated, lol….I'm not going to get into why, but anyway….So I used to go to school with her sister (she and I actually probably never spoke then, however). And then another thought dawned on me…

I looked over at Michelle and was like, do you have any other siblings? She's like, yeah, a brother…he'd actually be your age. Matt. They take me into the living room to show me a picture. And boom. I remembered. I had a crush on her older brother, Matt, for like….two years in middle school (6th & 7th grade??). I said so, we had a good laugh and then her sister Melissa is like, Hey, he's single! And of course he'll be at the wedding!

Er….for one…I'm not….but two…um….wouldn't that almost be like dating a family member. Sort of?? Ew.  He would be my brother's new brother-in-law and that would be f'd up.

Pink!
Originally uploaded by BlueEyezz.

I already posted this on my knitting blog (http://melknits.wordpress.com), but I wanted to post this on here as well, because not everyone is aware of that blog…

Anywho, I'm making a lacy shrug/bolero to wear over the dress I am now wearing to my brother's wedding. I love the color and I think it's going to turn out FABULOUS.

to God and Old Man Winter….

Oh, please bless me with a snow day tomorrow. We have a winter storm warning….I'm not tired and KNOW I won't be able to get up at 7 for lecture.

Please???     

I stepped on the scale this morning. 135. Wait a minute. One week ago….I was 130. How is that possible?? I have actually LOST though when I measure my waist and hips (the only two I really count, lol). My waist is now 27.5 and it's been hanging out at 28 for the longest time. My hips are at 39 (I think the last time I measured them, they were 39.5). So, seriously….How can it be that I'm working out harder the last couple weeks….and then I gained all this weight back??

Oh, right. PMS starts this week and I'm bloated. Oh AND I ramped up my weight training a bit. Doing a little more of that than I was before.

Doesn't that just SUCK?? Adding more weight training. They say that muscles weighs more than fat. I have noticed that my muscles are becoming more defined under my skin…And I can feel them and I feel STRONG!  Now the fat around it just needs to GO AWAY.

I'm so flustered. And maybe I beat myself up too much….

I've barely posted lately. I was going to more after the holidays, but school happened. Lol…I spend most of my time studying sign language (for Conversational Sign Language) and biology (anatomy & physiology). I spend way too much time during school work and seriously…I know waaaaaaaaaaaay too much about epethelial cells…and connective tissue…. :p Blah.

My anxiety has been nice and calm lately. I'm so happy. Maybe it's the prozac. I still have minor panic attacks here and there. But not like they used to be. I get through lab ok now. I have been exercising more. I've never studied so hard in my life, either. My attention span has developed a bit more. I'm wondering…does prozac help ADD? I've never been officially diagnosed with that, but I used to have attention issues growing up…

Anywho…tonight, I'm going to relax…do more homework, yes…but I am going to relax with Trent. I'm going to make enchiladas (mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm) with lots of cheese and going to sit back and drink a Miller Chill.

- - -

As an update….I went to the bridal shower on Saturday and I don't think the bride even appreciated the gift I gave her. I gave her this gorgeous personalized stationary from CityWrites that said Michael & Michelle M ——. I don't have their afghan done yet and so I thought she'd love it. She looked at it and was kind of  “eh” and put it down and was on to the next present.  I didn't end up going to the bachelorette party because no one told me it was an overnight type of party. I didn't have an overnight bag and I wasn't traveling that far with the weather being so craptastic lately. No way was I driving TWO HOURS back home after partying in freaking South Bend, Indiana. My aunt was all pissed at me because I decided at the last minute to not go. Well, screw them all. My aunt and uncle don't even seem to like me anymore. My aunt used to be my best friend. But I started dating Trent and apparently…they all think I'm a snob now. WHATEVER.  Oh, and she's mad because we missed my cousin's first birthday party.

Er….Trent and I were sick that day. AND SHE TOLD US TO STAY HOME AND NOT GET ANY OF THE KIDS SICK. SO WHATEVER. Maybe they should get off their high horse and come visit me for once instead of expecting me to always make the move to go see them. I always have to go see them. I have to make the call. I have to initiate it. I don't hear my phone ringing with the news that they'd love to come up and visit me.

/end rant.

Did I also mention I've had a cold off and on for three weeks? I think it's turning into a sinus “thing”.

Good news first:
My future sister-in-law has invited me to come along for her bachelorette party this Saturday. Her bridal shower is Saturday and the bachelorette thing will follow. I'm excited. She's finally making a real effort. It just makes me feel good. I didn't think she liked me….So, this is cool.

Bad news:
Trent is traveling today and tomorrow for work…And he called me a little bit ago to give me some bad news. His grandmother, who is in a nursing home, suffering from dimentia (she's in her 90s) has officially stopped feeding herself. She's started to take a downward turn. Granted, this doesn't mean she is going to pass in the next week or so…it just means that now she has to be fed. And that's difficult. It means that her meals will be mostly thickish/blended…and her drinks get thickened, too, so that she can be spoon fed even water. It sounds like, though, they've had a difficult time just trying to feed her. She doesn't want to eat.

So, first my grandfather's eventual demise, and then his grandmother….Remember how I said that death comes in threes?? I'm so praying that there isn't a third member of either of our family's that fall under some demise. :(  

7:30am - Woke up with plans to go to BIO LAB. But too snowy. Already skipping lecture. So…will skip lab (and attend open lab on Friday like the bums who had to miss Monday's lab because of MLK Jr. day…and will get tape of lecture. NO MORE SKIPPING OF EITHER. (I just get so anxious in large lecture halls - sigh). Go back to bed.

9am- Wake back up. See it's still snowing (Lake Effect Snow Warning). Eat Honey Nut Cheerios and watch the rest of The Today Show while surfing the internet for tabloid news.

11am - Go tanning (see previous entry and don't diss the pale white chick)

11:30 - Go to the school, get copy of lecture tape (no more of this…they are getting to used to my face and know exactly what I'm asking for - EEP) then head to computer lab.

12pm - make final adjustments to occupational therapy application essays. Print, 3 hole punch, put in folder. All set.

1pm - 30 minute workout in gym while watching most of Days of Our Lives

2pm - Go to Croyden Avenue School (one place I volunteer) to get total of volunteer hours to put on a cover page in my grad school application.

230pm - DROP OFF GRAD SCHOOL APPLICATION TO DEPARTMENT. And get this??? I did NOT have a heart attack or a panic attack and I don't even think my heart rate even increased. I simply parked, paid the meter, walked inside, got in the elevator (oh, how I hate the claustrophobic feeling of those — and yet…no panic attack), went to the third floor, dropped it off with nice student/receptionist at the offices front desk who wished me luck. HOLY COW! I JUST DROPPED OFF MY APPLICATION! WHAT IF MY ESSAYS AREN'T POWERFUL ENOUGH!?!? Note to self: Blog about this and make sure people PRAY FOR ME LOTS.

3pm - Come home and eat leftover pad thai with tofu and zucchini (I made for dinner last night and it is uber delish) while surfing internet once more. Catching up on things I have missed etc.

315pm - Return a phone call to someone at Family & Child Services for a part time position there. Interview for that February 4th.

330 pm - Present (and for the rest of night): Study biology.